End Hiring Nice People for Customer Service: How Character Beats Pleasantness Every Time
Let me share something that will probably annoy every HR person who sees this: recruiting people for customer service based on how “pleasant” they appear in an meeting is part of the largest blunders you can do.
Nice gets you nowhere when someone is yelling at you about a problem that was not your doing, insisting on solutions that cannot exist, and promising to destroy your business on social media.
The thing that works in those situations is toughness, calm boundary-setting, and the capacity to remain clear-headed on solutions rather than feelings.
I figured out this reality the difficult way while consulting with a significant shopping chain in Melbourne. Their selection procedure was completely focused on finding “customer-oriented” applicants who were “genuinely nice” and “thrived on helping people.”
Sounds sensible, yes?
This consequence: astronomical turnover, ongoing sick leave, and customer satisfaction that was consistently subpar.
After I examined what was occurring, I discovered that their “nice” staff were being absolutely devastated by demanding people.
Such people had been recruited for their genuine compassion and desire to assist others, but they had no training or natural protection against taking on every client’s negative energy.
Additionally, their genuine desire to accommodate people meant they were constantly saying yes to requests they were unable to deliver, which created even greater frustrated customers and additional pressure for themselves.
We observed truly compassionate people quit within short periods because they struggled to manage the mental toll of the job.
Meanwhile, the small number of people who thrived in difficult support situations had entirely distinct traits.
These people were not especially “pleasant” in the typical sense. Rather, they were strong, self-assured, and comfortable with setting limits. They truly aimed to help people, but they additionally had the capacity to state “no” when appropriate.
Such people were able to recognize a customer’s anger without taking it as their fault. They managed to remain calm when customers became demanding. They were able to concentrate on discovering realistic fixes rather than getting trapped in emotional dynamics.
Such traits had nothing to do with being “pleasant” and everything to do with psychological competence, professional confidence, and toughness.
I totally changed their recruitment procedure. In place of looking for “nice” candidates, we started assessing for resilience, solution-finding capacity, and confidence with boundary-setting.
During interviews, we gave candidates with typical client relations situations: frustrated people, excessive expectations, and cases where there was absolutely no ideal resolution.
Instead of asking how they would make the customer happy, we questioned how they would navigate the encounter professionally while maintaining their own wellbeing and enforcing company policies.
Our candidates who performed most effectively in these assessments were infrequently the ones who had initially appeared most “nice.”
Rather, they were the ones who exhibited systematic reasoning under pressure, ease with stating “that’s not possible” when appropriate, and the capacity to separate their personal reactions from the client’s emotional situation.
Half a year after introducing this new hiring approach, staff turnover fell by over 60%. Service quality increased remarkably, but even more importantly, ratings particularly for demanding client situations got better remarkably.
Let me explain why this strategy works: customer service is fundamentally about problem-solving under pressure, not about being continuously appreciated.
People who call customer service are generally previously frustrated. They have a problem they can’t fix themselves, they’ve often already worked through multiple methods, and they want skilled help, not surface-level niceness.
What frustrated customers genuinely need is a representative who:
Acknowledges their problem immediately and accurately
Shows authentic competence in understanding and resolving their problem
Offers straightforward information about what is possible to and will not be accomplished
Assumes suitable steps quickly and sees through on commitments
Keeps professional behavior even when the customer turns upset
Observe that “agreeableness” doesn’t feature anywhere on that collection.
Effectiveness, calm composure, and reliability are important significantly more than niceness.
In fact, overwhelming niceness can often be counterproductive in client relations situations. When clients are truly angry about a significant problem, overly cheerful or bubbly behavior can come across as inappropriate, artificial, or tone-deaf.
The team worked with a investment company company where client relations representatives had been trained to constantly display “upbeat demeanor” irrespective of the person’s circumstances.
Such an strategy worked fairly well for basic questions, but it was entirely wrong for serious problems.
When people called because they’d lost substantial sums of money due to system failures, or because they were facing monetary crisis and desperately wanted to arrange assistance alternatives, inappropriately cheerful responses seemed as callous and unprofessional.
I taught their staff to align their emotional approach to the seriousness of the client’s circumstances. Significant concerns demanded serious, professional reactions, not artificial upbeat energy.
Service quality got better instantly, particularly for complex problems. People sensed that their concerns were being handled with proper attention and that the staff helping them were professional professionals rather than just “cheerful” employees.
This brings me to another crucial point: the difference between empathy and psychological involvement.
Skilled support people must have compassion – the capacity to recognize and validate other individual’s emotions and situations.
But they certainly do under no circumstances require to take on those feelings as their own.
Interpersonal taking on is what takes place when support representatives begin taking on the same anger, worry, or desperation that their clients are feeling.
That emotional internalization is incredibly overwhelming and contributes to emotional breakdown, decreased job quality, and high staff changes.
Professional empathy, on the other hand, allows representatives to recognize and react to customers’ emotional needs without making blame for solving the person’s emotional state.
That separation is crucial for protecting both work effectiveness and mental stability.
Given this, what should you search for when selecting customer service people?
Initially, psychological awareness and resilience. Screen for individuals who can remain calm under pressure, who do not make customer upset as their fault, and who can separate their own feelings from other people’s psychological conditions.
Additionally, analytical capacity. Customer service is basically about understanding issues and creating workable solutions. Search for individuals who handle problems logically and who can think effectively even when working with frustrated people.
Third, comfort with limit-establishing. Screen for individuals who can state “no” appropriately but firmly when required, and who understand the gap between remaining supportive and being taken advantage of.
Additionally, authentic interest in solution-finding rather than just “pleasing people.” The most effective customer service people are driven by the intellectual stimulation of solving difficult issues, not just by a need to be appreciated.
Most importantly, professional security and personal dignity. Client relations people who value themselves and their job expertise are significantly more effective at preserving professional interactions with clients and providing consistently professional service.
Don’t forget: you’re not hiring people to be professional friends or psychological therapy workers. You’re selecting competent problem-solvers who can offer outstanding service while maintaining their own wellbeing and maintaining reasonable expectations.
Hire for skill, toughness, and work quality. Agreeableness is secondary. Professional excellence is essential.

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