The True Reason Your Customer Care Training Fails to Deliver: A Honest Assessment
End Hiring Pleasant People for Customer Service: How Character Outweighs Pleasantness Every Time
I’m about to share something that will most likely upset every hiring person who sees this: selecting people for customer service because of how “agreeable” they appear in an interview is one of the largest errors you can commit.
Agreeable turns you nowhere when a person is raging at you about a situation that isn’t your fault, demanding fixes that don’t exist, and stating to damage your company on online platforms.
The thing that works in those encounters is toughness, calm standard-maintaining, and the ability to stay clear-headed on outcomes rather than drama.
I figured out this lesson the hard way while working with a large retail company in Melbourne. Their selection procedure was completely based on finding “customer-oriented” applicants who were “genuinely nice” and “thrived on helping people.”
Seems reasonable, right?
This result: extremely high employee departures, ongoing time off, and client quality that was perpetually average.
After I analyzed what was occurring, I learned that their “nice” employees were getting completely overwhelmed by difficult clients.
These people had been hired for their inherent empathy and need to help others, but they had no tools or inherent protection against internalizing every customer’s difficult feelings.
Additionally, their inherent tendency to please people meant they were continuously agreeing to expectations they couldn’t fulfill, which caused even greater angry people and more anxiety for themselves.
The team watched really kind individuals quit in short periods because they were unable to handle the psychological impact of the role.
Meanwhile, the rare employees who thrived in demanding client relations roles had totally different characteristics.
Such individuals did not seem especially “agreeable” in the conventional sense. Alternatively, they were tough, self-assured, and fine with establishing boundaries. They genuinely wanted to serve people, but they furthermore had the capacity to say “no” when required.
These people could acknowledge a client’s frustration without taking it personally. They managed to stay professional when clients got unreasonable. They managed to concentrate on discovering realistic solutions rather than becoming involved in dramatic dynamics.
Such qualities had minimal to do with being “pleasant” and everything to do with emotional strength, professional security, and toughness.
The team completely overhauled their recruitment approach. In place of screening for “nice” people, we began assessing for toughness, solution-finding skills, and ease with standard-maintaining.
In evaluations, we gave people with typical client relations scenarios: angry people, unreasonable demands, and situations where there was zero complete resolution.
In place of asking how they would ensure the person happy, we inquired how they would manage the situation effectively while preserving their own mental health and enforcing company guidelines.
Our people who performed excellently in these scenarios were infrequently the ones who had originally appeared most “pleasant.”
Instead, they were the ones who demonstrated clear analysis under pressure, confidence with communicating “that’s not possible” when necessary, and the capacity to distinguish their individual emotions from the client’s mental situation.
180 days after implementing this new selection approach, staff turnover fell by more than three-fifths. Service quality improved remarkably, but additionally importantly, satisfaction especially among challenging customer situations improved significantly.
Here’s why this approach works: customer service is essentially about issue resolution under challenging conditions, not about being constantly liked.
People who reach customer service are typically previously upset. They have a concern they can’t resolve themselves, they’ve commonly beforehand attempted various solutions, and they require skilled assistance, not surface-level niceness.
The thing that angry clients genuinely require is a person who:
Validates their issue quickly and precisely
Shows real ability in understanding and addressing their issue
Gives straightforward information about what might and cannot be done
Assumes suitable measures promptly and sees through on agreements
Maintains composed demeanor even when the client turns emotional
Observe that “pleasantness” isn’t show up anywhere on that set of requirements.
Effectiveness, professionalism, and consistency are important far more than pleasantness.
Actually, overwhelming pleasantness can often be counterproductive in support encounters. When clients are really upset about a serious issue, overly positive or enthusiastic responses can seem as dismissive, artificial, or insensitive.
I worked with a banking company company where support people had been instructed to constantly display “upbeat energy” no matter what of the client’s circumstances.
That strategy was effective fairly well for standard inquiries, but it was entirely unsuitable for serious problems.
When clients reached out because they’d lost significant amounts of money due to technical errors, or because they were facing economic difficulty and required to discuss assistance alternatives, inappropriately cheerful responses seemed as insensitive and unprofessional.
We re-educated their staff to align their emotional tone to the seriousness of the customer’s situation. Significant issues required serious, competent treatment, not artificial positivity.
Customer satisfaction got better right away, notably for serious problems. Customers sensed that their issues were being taken appropriately and that the people helping them were competent professionals rather than simply “cheerful” people.
This leads me to a different crucial point: the gap between empathy and psychological involvement.
Effective support representatives must have understanding – the ability to recognize and respond to other people’s emotions and perspectives.
But they absolutely do never require to internalize those feelings as their own.
Psychological taking on is what occurs when customer service people begin taking on the same anger, anxiety, or distress that their customers are experiencing.
Such psychological internalization is incredibly draining and contributes to mental exhaustion, reduced job quality, and problematic turnover.
Professional understanding, on the other hand, permits representatives to understand and respond to customers’ psychological states without taking ownership for resolving the person’s psychological wellbeing.
That difference is vital for preserving both job performance and mental health.
So, what should you look for when recruiting customer service people?
First, psychological awareness and resilience. Look for people who can keep composed under pressure, who do not make customer frustration as their responsibility, and who can differentiate their own feelings from other person’s psychological conditions.
Additionally, solution-finding capacity. Client relations is basically about identifying problems and discovering effective resolutions. Screen for candidates who handle difficulties logically and who can reason effectively even when interacting with upset customers.
Also, comfort with limit-establishing. Search for people who can state “no” professionally but clearly when appropriate, and who understand the distinction between remaining accommodating and being manipulated.
Fourth, authentic curiosity in helping people rather than just “accommodating people.” The best client relations staff are energized by the mental challenge of solving difficult situations, not just by a need to be approved of.
Most importantly, work confidence and inner strength. Client relations people who respect themselves and their job expertise are far more effective at maintaining appropriate relationships with clients and delivering consistently excellent service.
Keep in mind: you’re not selecting people to be customer service companions or personal support providers. You’re recruiting skilled problem-solvers who can provide outstanding service while preserving their own wellbeing and enforcing professional standards.
Select for competence, strength, and work quality. Agreeableness is optional. Work competence is crucial.
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